Getting Back Up
by Pink Mockingjay in Hufflepuff
Summary: Tori hasn't spoken to her old high school friends in years. Well, except André, who she lives with. Everyone is off being successful, except for Tori who feels like she's failed as she's had to put her dreams on hold. When everyone gets back together, Tori has to confront her opinions on herself, failure, and life in general. Luckily, she has great friends by her side. Crossposted.
1. Chapter 1

_**Wow. **_

_**All I can say is wow.**_

_**I was in elementary school when this show aired. I've harbored an innate love all this time. Finally, with the whole series being on Netflix and learning that the fandom is still alive, I decided to actually write a fic. No promises of regular uploads (busy college kid), but I hope you enjoy!**_

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"Every stumble is not a fall, and every fall does not mean failure." -Oprah Winfrey

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Tori sighed heavily as she opened the door to the apartment. It had been a long day and she was a closer on top of that.

She locked the door behind her, hung up her keys, and kicked her shoes off.

"Hey Tori," greeted André from the couch. He was watching what looked to be Saturday Night Live.

"Hey," she replied, setting her purse on the counter and taking off the goofy little half-apron she wore for work, tossing it beside the purse.

"How was work?"

Tori shrugged and walked over to the kitchen cabinet and pulled out a bottle of ibuprofen and shook two into her hand. Her feet hurt and her head was pounding.

"That bad, huh?"

"Not bad, just… a lot." Tori filled up a glass of water.

"At least you have tomorrow off."

"Yeah," Tori said, after taking the tylenol and putting the cup in the sink. She made her way to the couch and plopped onto it beside André. "How was your night?"

"Oh, you know. The usual. Watched TV, played some games, had some Goldfish crackers."

"Sophie give you any trouble?"

"Nope. She was a perfect angel all night."

Tori chuckled. "All night?"

"Okay, well… most of the night."

"That sounds more like it."

"She _did_ go to sleep without any trouble. Right at eight."

"Good. Sometimes a monster if I'm not there."

"Sophie? A monster?" André said with false disbelief. "No, never!"

Tori laughed. Sophie May could be a little terror if given the chance. She was mostly a sweetheart, but she was just a toddler. And all toddlers could be monsters from time to time.

Tori rested her head on André's shoulder. "Thanks again for watching her tonight. I owe you."

"You don't owe me anything. You know I'd do anything for you two."

"André-"

"I'm serious. I love hanging out with my little niece." André bumped his head against Tori's playfully. "And besides, we all live here anyway."

Tori cracked a smile. She did in fact live in an apartment with her best friend. André had one bedroom and she shared the other one with her daughter Sophie.

Sophie, her enthusiastic curly haired little girl was a few months over two years old. And she was Tori's entire world.

Sophie had been a surprise during Tori's last semester of college. Sophie's dad had broken up with Tori before she even learned she was pregnant and when Tori eventually told him, he wanted nothing to do with either of them. She was fully prepared to figure it out on her own, or live with her parents until she got her feet on the ground, but André, ever supportive, said that they should still move in together, just as they had been talking about for years. And he loved Sophie so much.

They sat in silence for a while, watching the sketch comedy on the tv. Tori wasn't sure if she was too tired to laugh, or if it just wasn't very funny this week, although André did snicker a few times.

Tori rubbed her hand over her face and swiped open her phone, to check The Slap. The first thing she saw was a picture Beck posted of Jade sitting on the edge of a stage, a script book on her lap. The caption below the photograph read: 'Just found this picture from a few months ago. Would've thought someone asked her to do this, but nope. Found her like this when I came to visit. She was just up there, going over her lines. Love you, babe.' Jade had commented with a heart below it. Tori's finger hovered over the 'like' button on the post. She didn't use The Slap herself much anymore, but it was nice to see what her friends from high school were doing from time to time.

"Oh, hey," André said, glancing over at Tori. "I talked to Beck today."

"Yeah?" Tori looked over at her friend.

"Yeah, he and Jade are actually coming to L.A. next week."

Tori frowned a little. "Really? Why?"

"Well, it's been a long time since they've been back. Jade's between shows right now and it's a slow audition season and Beck wants to not have to look at his script for a few days."

"Did he get a part in something?"

"No, he's writing a script."

"Oh," Tori put her phone down beside her. Of course he was.

"And Cat and Robbie should be back next week too."

"Oh that's… nice."

"I figured it might be fun if we all got together. It's been a long time since we've all been in one place."

"Yeah, you guys have fun with that." Tori said, pushing herself off the couch and walking towards the bathroom.

"What do you mean?"

Tori stopped short and turned around. "I _mean_, you guys have fun with that."

André stood from the couch then. "What about you?"

"What about me?" Tori asked, throwing her arms out to her sides.

"They want to see you,"

Tori shook her head and let out a short chuckle. "No they don't."

"Of course they do."

Tori crossed her arms and looked towards the kitchen. "I'm sure,"

"Beck asked about you. Everyone always asks about you. Both of you." André took another step towards her. "Why do you look like you don't believe me?"

"Why do they care?" Tori asked. All of her her old friends were doing such incredible, remarkable things and she was waitressing at little restaurant and looking after a tiny human.

"They're your friends. Even if you've pushed them all away, they still care about you."

"I don't understand why they would. What have I done with my life?"

"Hey," André put his hands on her shoulders. "We've talked about this. You know it isn't any good when you talk about yourself that way."

"But it's true, isn't it?"

"No. It's not true, Tori. And I know somewhere deep down you know that it isn't true. So, your plans changed. You had Sophie. That isn't a bad thing. Things change all the time. It doesn't mean what your doing now isn't just as important as what anyone else is doing."

Tori sighed.

"Listen, we all love you. All of us. No matter what. We always have and we always will. That _includes_ Sophie. When everyone comes into town next week, you are going to see them, okay?"

Tori looked unsure.

"Just for a little bit, at least. It's been years since we've been all together."

"Fine,"

"Good girl," André teased. "Now get to bed. You look like you could fall asleep standing right here."

"Don't tempt me,"

"You smell like onions," he added.

"Yeah, but I'm too tired to not smell like onions. Good night."

André chuckled, wished her good night, and returned to the couch. Tori headed to the bathroom, where Afternoon Tori had smartly thought to put her pajamas, so she wouldn't wake Sophie opening and closing dresser drawers. She was exhausted, but she managed to brush her teeth before calling it quits on her nightly routine.

Tori very carefully opened her bedroom door and shut it softly behind her. The soft, warm light of Sophie's unicorn nightlight gave her enough light to make her way around the room.

Tori tossed her clothes into the hamper and tiptoed over to Sophie's crib, peering over the side.

The toddler was sprawled out on her back with the ear of her stuffed bunny clenched in her little fist. Tori smiled at the sight. Sophie was a beautiful child and she adored her.

"Good night Sophie," Tori whispered. "I love you."

After watching Sophie for a short while longer, Tori finally crawled into her own bed.

She supposed it would be nice to see everyone again.

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**_A/N: I may or may not change the title, so don't be surprised if it changes at some point. Thanks for reading!_**


	2. Chapter 2

Tori stood in front of the mirror in her bedroom, messing with her hair. Should she pin in back? Put it up? How did most women in their mid-twenties who weren't waitresses and/or moms of little kids wear their hair?

"Mommy, sock."

Tori turned from the mirror. Sophie was sitting on the floor, holding a sock in the air. It was much too big to be one of Sophie's.

"Where'd you find that?"

Sophie pointed under Tori's bed.

Tori bent down and took the sock from her daughter and took the sock. She noticed it was not a clean sock. "Thank you, sunshine."

Sophie smiled.

Tori booped the tip of Sophie's nose. "You know, Soph, you're not allowed to grow up. Who's gonna find stuff for me when you get bigger?"

Sophie only giggled and went back to her actual toy.

Tori stood up again and put the sock in her hamper, before turning to the mirror again and combing her fingers through her hair.

"Knock knock," said a voice from the other side of Tori's door, accompanied by actual knocking. André.

"Knock knock," parroted Sophie.

"You can open it." Tori called.

André pushed open the door.

"André!" Sophie cheered, pushing herself to her feet.

"Hey nugget," André greeted, scooping her up into his arms. "Tori, I wanted to let you know that Cat and Robbie should be here any minute."

"Oh boy," Tori murmured, turning back to her reflection, twisting her hands in her hair.

"Hey, stop that."

Tori looked to André.

"Your hair looks fine. You look fine."

Tori visibly deflated.

"I know you're nervous. But it'll be okay."

Tori sighed. "You're… you're right."

"I know," André smiled.

Tori looked to Sophie. Cat had met Sophie twice. Once when she was very little, and once about a year later when Robbie was there too. They had been in and out of LA for a long time, so fast that there was never a time to visit. Tori did text Cat. Sometimes. When she remembered. She knew about Sophie. Everyone knew about Sophie. But Tori's stomach was still in knots.

The buzzing sound of a visitor asking to be let in echoed through the apartment.

"That'll be them," André passed Sophie into Tori's arms and went to go stand by the door.

Sophie grabbed at Tori's hair. "Love you,"

Tori relaxed a moment and smiled, pressing her forehead against her daughter's. "And I love you, Sophie-Bear."

"Tori?" André called.

Tori sighed. "We got this, right?" she asked Sophie.

"Got this," repeated Sophie.

Tori walked out of the bedroom, shutting the door behind her, Sophie on her hip. Tori stood next to André by the door.

André put his arm around Tori's shoulders and gently squeezed, "Relax, Tori. It's gonna be okay."

Tori held her breath for a moment and nodded.

A few knocks sounded at the door.

"Knock knock," said Sophie.

André opened the door, revealing Robbie and Cat. Cat was bouncing excitedly on her toes and Robbie laughed a bit at her enthusiasm.

"Hey guys, come on in!" André greeted.

Cat squealed and wrapped her arms around André, already talking a mile a minute. Robbie went in for a hug too. Tori already felt overwhelmed. It had been so long since she saw them.

"And Tori!" Cat said, turning. She came in for a hug. Tori hesitated, but accepted the hug. "It's been so long! And Sophie's so big now! How are things?"

Tori backed up a bit, holding Sophie, who looked confused, closer. "I, uh,"

"Easy hon," Robbie reminded Cat with a smile, putting a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"I know… I'm just so happy!" Cat replied, bouncing back up on her toes. "I'm sorry, Tori. I just missed you!"

"It's okay," Tori assured, smiling. "I… missed you too, Cat."

Cat beamed.

"Hi Tori," Robbie greeted, stepping forward and offering his own hug.

"Hi Robbie," Tori said, hugging him. "It's nice to see you."

"You too." Robbie smiled. "Hi Sophie,"

Sophie only stared for a moment, before looking at Tori and pointing at the new people in her house. "Dat?"

"These are my…" Tori looked to Cat and Robbie. "These are my friends."

Sophie nodded seriously. "Mommy's friends."

"Uh huh. Do you remember meeting them last year?"

Sophie turned back to Cat and Robbie and shook her head.

"That's okay," Tori laughed softly. "Can you say hi?"

"Hi," said Sophie, suddenly shy, ducking her head and leaning back against Tori.

"Hi Sophie," Cat said sweetly. "It's nice to see you again."

Sophie wrapped her arms around Tori's neck and Tori snuggled her.

"Why don't you guys sit down?" Andre suggested, gesturing to the furniture behind them.

Tori put Sophie down on the ground and she toddled over to the little basket where her toys were kept and Tori sat on a chair, on the edge, very uncomfortable.

Cat and Robbie sat side by side on the couch and their hands intertwined instantly, as if it had been unnatural for their hands to be apart.

André plopped into a chair as well, asking Robbie how his comedy tour went, getting Robbie and Cat talking and they asked André how his music for the new show he was working on was coming along.

Tori was doing her best to listen, and she nodded in appropriate places, but she couldn't really focus. She let her eyes drift to where Sophie was pulling out her toys. She already hand a bear puppet on her hand. It was huge on her.

Cat mentioned how someone in New York was impressed by her costuming abilities and would maybe be in touch.

Tori smiled. She was proud of her friends, and very happy for them and their successes, but she felt like she didn't fit in. She had given up on her dreams, on offers that awaited her right after college because she had Sophie to look after. She loved that kid more than anything, but listening to her friends chat about the busy world of show business made her heart ache.

Sophie couldn't care any less about the grown up conversation happening around her. She pulled out her little plastic pull-behind dog from her toy basket and walked over to Tori. She held her arms up and Tori pulled her into her lap, oversized bear puppet and plastic dog too. Tori rocked her a little, almost absently while her mind wandered elsewhere.

"…Tori?"

Tori shook herself from her thoughts. "Huh?"

"I asked how you've been." Robbie repeated, looking almost nervous.

"Okay," Tori replied. "Busy."

Robbie looked like he wanted to say something else, but Cat placed her free hand on his leg and shook her head just the tiniest bit.

Tori wanted to talk to them, to say something, but she didn't feel like she had anything valuable to contribute to the conversation, so she just held Sophie close and listened to Cat, Robbie, and André talk. It was close to the little girl's nap time and Tori knew she was slowly falling asleep.

André's cellphone rang and he answered it. "Hey Beck. I thought you weren't getting here until tomorrow? Cool, cool. They're here actually. Sure, sure. I'll text you. See ya." He hung up the phone and looked to the people in his apartment. "Beck and Jade are here already. They wanted to know if everyone wanted to hang out tonight."

"That sounds fun!" Cat said.

"Yeah, I'm in!" Robbie added.

Everyone looked to Tori.

"Oh, I don't know…"

André spoke up. "It'll be fun, Tori."

"I don't have anyone to watch Sophie."

"You could bring her," Robbie suggested.

"I don't want to mess up any plans."

"Don't worry about that. We'll do something that Sophie can join us for." André said.

"Are-are you sure?" Tori asked.

"Of course!"

Tori looked down at Sophie and then back up to her friends. She didn't have work tomorrow and she hadn't seen her friends in such a along time. "Okay,"

"Okay?" André clarified.

André would never let her her bail. It was easier just to agree to go rather than be haggled. "We'll come. As long as it's no trouble."

"Sweet! I'll let Beck know," André said, typing on his phone.

"Yay! Everyone is going to be together!" Cat said with a giggle. "How fun!"

_Yes_, thought Tori. _How fun._


	3. Chapter 3

They had agreed on dinner, somewhere not super fancy and that allowed families and children, but was not a fast food place. Still, Tori had put Sophie in a little dress and made sure her wispy little bangs were pinned back. Tori was determined to look like she had her life together.

Beck and Jade were already there when Tori, Sophie, and André pulled up to the restaurant. Cat and Robbie were on their way.

Tori had Sophie on her hip. Sophie was clutching her stuffed rabbit and had a pacifier in her mouth. When Tori pulled Sophie's diaper bag from the car, she realized exactly what she was doing.

"You okay?" André asked her.

Tori nodded.

"It'll be fine, Tor." he assured, rubbing his friend's arm.

Though she didn't feel so sure, Tori shut the door of the car and headed towards the front door of the restaurant. André was close behind.

There was a table for six and a high chair waiting for them, with two seats occupied. Jade had the look on her face she always had whem Beck was telling her something, absolutely smitten but trying to look uninterested. Tori smiled a bit. At least something was the same.

Beck was the first to notice them approaching and he almost tripped trying to get out of his chair to greet them.

He hugged André first and they exchanged small talk. Tori rocked back on her heels.

She was surprise when Jade stood and opened her arms to give Tori a hug.

"Hi Jade," Tori greeted timidly.

"Hey Vega. Long time, no see." Jade replied with a smile as she let go.

Beck pulled Tori in for a hug too and Andre reached around to hug Jade.

I'm glad you decided to come Tori. It's been a while." He said, looking genuinely happy to see her.

"Hi Beck. It's nice to see you."

"And this must be Sophie," Beck directed his attention to the toddler in Tori's arms. "It's nice to finally meet you, Sophie."

"Okay, I'll admit she's pretty damn cute." Jade said. "Hi Sophie."

André and Beck sent Jade a look for swearing in front of such a little kid, but Tori didn't notice. She was too focused on Sophie's curious expression. She was an easygoing child who loved people.

"Sophie, these are more of Mommy's friends."

"More friends?" Sophie questioned, her pacifier falling from her mouth, sounding a little disgusted. Luckily her pacifier was attached to a clip on her shirt. "Too many!"

"Hey, you!" Tori teased, poking Sophie's stomach, making her giggle.

The others laughed.

"Okay, silly girl, can you say hi to Beck and Jade?" Tori prompted.

"Hi," Sophie replied.

Jade's polite smile broadened into a real one when Sophie spoke. She even waved at the little girl.

Beck smiled too. "Well, I figured you might want to sit at the end so you're with Sophie, Tori. Hope you don't mind."

"Oh no, that's perfect, thanks." Tori made her way to the seat at the end across the table from Beck and Jade, figuring Cat and Robbie could sit next to each other when they arrived, but Jade caught her arm.

"You want me to sit next to André?" Jade asked teasingly.

"Hey!" he protested.

Tori grinned, suddenly feeling the confidence she had at sixteen. "If you wanted to sit with me, Jade, you could've just asked."

Jade scoffed and rolled her eyes and returned to her seat, but Tori sat beside her anyway, placing Sophie into the high chair.

Jade lightly bumped her arm into Tori's once she was sitting. "Thanks for showing up,"

Tori could only smile. However glad she was that her old friends still seemed to want her around, she still felt uncomfortable with it all. She was sitting beside a Broadway actress after all, that could make anyone feel useless.

André sat across from Beck, who was working under someone on some late night talk show and working on a script for a play. The boys immediately started comparing the differences in the world of television on each coast.

And there sat Tori, a waitress, beside her two year old who had found the crayons and kids' menu.

Tori sighed and turned her attention to Sophie, who was scribbling all over the paper menu with a blue crayon.

"Oh that's beautiful, Sophie!" Tori said, earning a smile from the toddler. It was really just scribbles over a coloring sheet, but Sophie hadn't really been interested in drawing or coloring until recently, and that made Tori nervous about her fine motor development, so she encouraged her whenever she even so much as picked up a crayon.

"What color are you using? Can you tell me?"

"Blue!" Sophie said proudly, waving the crayon in front of herself.

"That's right!"

Sophie dropped the blue crayon and picked up a different one. "Mommy, red."

"Yes, that one is red. Are you gonna use that one now?"

"Uh-huh," Sophie replied, looking back to her masterpiece.

Tori heard her friends talking. They were talking about normal young adult stuff. It felt hard to join in, like she was lost.

"What are you drawing, kid?" Jade asked Sophie suddenly.

Tori and Sophie both looked to Jade, surprised.

Jade tried again. "What's your picture of, Sophie?"

"Mommy," Sophie finally replied.

Jade glanced at Sophie's drawing and smirked at Tori. "I see the resemblance,"

Tori opened her mouth in mock-offense.

Jade laughed.

Soon enough, Cat and Robbie showed up and everyone ordered food. The conversation kept up. It was lively and fun and there was an honest attempt to keep Sophie involved and Tori included, which was nice, but Tori couldn't help but feel like she was only being included for politeness.

Tori got macaroni and cheese for Sophie, but Sophie was still relatively new and clumsy to using silverware and Tori was all but ignoring her food in order to make sure Sophie was getting more food in her mouth than down the front of her little purple unicorn dress.

"Mommy, out please!" Sophie held out her arms towards Tori. She was getting antsy in that high chair, Tori couldn't blame her.

"In a minute, Soph." Tori promised, shoving a french fry into her mouth.

"Mommy!" Sophie whined.

Tori sighed, looking down at her plate and went to pull her daughter into her lap.

"Can I take her?"

Tori looked to Cat, who was sitting across from her, looking sweet as ever with a small smile.

"Cat, you don't have to-"

"It's fine, really. I'm not really that hungry and you haven't really eaten anything. I can even try to get her to eat some more, if you want."

Tori contemplated it for a moment. She looked at Sophie who was wriggling and reaching still. "Is it okay if Cat holds you for a while?"

Sophie looked to Cat, who smiled at her. Sophie nodded.

Cat rached over and pulled Sophie from the high chair and settled her on her lap.

"There we go," Cat said with a soft giggle.

Sophie grabbed at Cat's hair. "Red crayon!"

Cat laughed. "You're so cute!"

After a little while, Robbie took Sophie from Cat. Sophie was a little uneasy at first as she really didn't know that many men and even less had ever held her, but Robbie made her laugh immediately and she was sold.

Sophie was content in Robbie's arms and was soon just as comfortable in André's. By that time, Tori was done eating, but everyone seemed to really enjoy passing Sophie around and no one would pass her back to Tori. And Tori was participating in adult conversation.

Sophie's attention was drawn to the window. It was just getting dark enough for people to turn their headlights on as they were driving, and she was mesmerized watching them pass.

"Oh, I want one." Cat said quietly, watching Sophie.

"A car?" asked Tori, confused. Cat had a car.

"No, silly. A baby."

To his credit, Robbie did not drop his glass of water onto himself or choke, so that was good news, but the look on his face made André, Tori, Jade, and Beck laugh.

"Not right now!" Cat assured, shoving Robbie's shoulder.

Robbie flashed a double thumbs up as he composed himself.

It was Beck's turn to take Sophie next and she was all smiles by then from all the attention she was getting.

Beck bounced Sophie on his knee and moved her arms as he talked, making her giggle. Jade kept looking over at Sophie.

Tori thought at first that she was glaring, but when Sophie was moved to her lap, Jade was so loving and gentle with her that Tori almost fell out of her seat.

Jade rocked a little and Sophie had her full, undivided attention.

"I see the unicorn on your dress. Do you like unicorns?" Jade asked Sophie.

Sophie nodded. "You?"

"You know, kid, I'm not really a unicorn sort of person. Do you like any other animals?"

"Kitty!" Sophie said. "Meow! Doggie! Woof!"

"I like cats too. Beck likes dogs."

Tori smiled at the unexpected sight.

Sophie started to drift off in Jade's arms. Tori looked at her phone. "I should go pretty soon,"

"Aw, yeah." André said, looking at Sophie.

"I was gonna ask if you guys wanted to go out after, but, yeah, Sophie." Beck said.

"You guys should go." Tori said. "I've gotta get Sophie to bed."

"If you wanna come, André, we can always take you and drop you back off at your place." Robbie offered. He had ridden with Tori and Sophie.

André looked to Tori, who nodded. He always wanted to help Tori out, but she could handle everything herself. Sophie was her kid anyway.

"Alright, cool." André agreed.

Jade slowly passed Sophie to Tori's arms.

"It was nice to see you, Tori!" Beck said.

"Yeah, you guys too." Tori replied with a smile as she stood up. "You guys will all be her for a while, right?"

Beck, Jade, Cat, and Robbie nodded.

"We should hang out again."

"Absolutely!" Robbie said, just as Cat said "Yes!"

"Answer your phone then," Jade said with a smirk.

"Will do," Tori said. "Bye guys! Say 'bye' Sophie."

Sophie gave a sleepy wave.

"Drive safe," Beck said.

"Yeah. I'll see you at home." André added. "Night,"

Everyone else chimed in with good nights.

"Night," Tori replied before turning and heading out to her car. She carefully buckled Sophie into her car seat and getting into the driver's seat.

She drove away from the restaurant, down roads she had known all her life.

She glanced at Sophie's reflection in her mirror. The little girl was fast asleep. Tori smiled, but deep down the slightest bit of resentment sat.


	4. Chapter 4

**This is a short filler chapter to build Tori and Sophie's relationship a bit more and give a little more background. Enjoy!**

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Tori was not a perfect person. Although she tried her hardest her whole life to come across as perfect, she really wasn't.

There were a lot of things she was bad at. She had made a lot of mistakes.

And truth be told, one of those mistakes had sparkly hazel eyes and dark curls and the sweetest little voice.

Arguably, it was the best mistake she had ever made.

Hearing that sweet little voice in the middle of the night, however, made Tori rethink her stance.

"Mommy? Mommy!"

Tori groaned softly as she blinked opened her eyes. Sophie didn't often wake up at night, she had started sleeping through the night at seven months old unless something was wrong. Even then, waking up to someone shouting for you was never pleasant.

"Mommy!" Sophie demanded again, sounding teary.

Tori pushed herself out of bed and shuffled over to the crib. Sophie was standing, holding onto the bars, bouncing slightly. In the dim glow of the nightlight, Tori could make out tears on the toddler's face. Sophie whined and held her arms up.

Tori's sour attitude lightened and she lifted Sophie into her arms. She snuggled her close. "Sophie," she whispered, pressing her forehead to Sophie's cheek as she swayed slightly. "It's really early. Why are you awake, hm?"

Sophie sniffled. "Scawy sleep."

"Oh, you had a bad dream."

"Bad dweam,"

"Aw," Tori cooed, wiping Sophie's face with her hand. "You're safe. Mommy won't let anything hurt you."

Sophie curled against her mother, grabbing hold of the shirt she was wearing in her little fist. She was still very much awake.

Tori kissed Sophie's head softly and started to sing to her softly. "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray. You'll never know, dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away."

Sophie was born on a painfully stormy, early December day. It was miserable outside and Tori was scared to death inside. The moment Tori and Sophie officially met face to face was the first time Tori had truly smiled in a long time. Sophie was a beautiful baby, a little sparkle of hope to her mother who had felt like her world had collapsed. And Tori had sung "You Are My Sunshine" to her the very first time they were alone together and because of that, Sophie Sunshine was one of Sophie's many, many nicknames.

Sophie's body, which had been tense, had relaxed in Tori's arms, but she was still awake.

"Why don't we go back to sleep?" Tori suggested. She would do anything for Sophie, but she also felt dead on her feet.

"No!"

"You can come sleep with me."

"Mommy's bed?"

Tori chuckled. Much like she and Trina did as children, Sophie jumped at any opportunity to sleep in the 'big bed'. "Mhm."

"Cuddles?"

"Of course,"

Sophie thought for a second. "Okay,"

Tori smiled and crossed back to her bed, where she placed Sophie. She was just about to join her when Sophie suddenly cried, "Bunny!" and threw her arms up in anguish.

Tori sighed. "I'll get Bunny." She went back to the crib and retrieved Sophie's stuffed rabbit. On her way back to bed, she finally dared to look at the alarm clock.

2:46.

Oh joy.

Sophie took her bunny and hugged it close as Tori finally crawled back into her bed. Sophie lay down and curled up against her mother and Tori placed a hand on her back.

"I love you, Sophie."

Sophie peered into Tori's eyes, which made Tori melt every time. "Love you, Mommy."

Tori kissed Sophie's forehead and started to rub her back, humming under her breath.

Sophie's eyes fluttered closed.

Tori's humming stopped when Sophie's breathing evened out and slowed. Despite her own exhaustion, Tori couldn't seem to close her eyes. She just wanted to look at Sophie, her cute curls, and her sweet little face, how peaceful and calm she looked.

How something so beautiful and precious had come from a relationship that had been no less than toxic was beyond Tori's wildest imagination. Some days, it felt like an unwelcome reminder, but usually Sophie's existence proved that the world truly was a good place.

Nothing was ever easy, but life never really was easy anyway. Raising a toddler wasn't a walk in the park under any circumstances, but Tori's circumstances weren't exactly normal. Life was a hectic, emotional whirlwind with ups and downs, especially for Tori and Sophie.

Sophie had some very mild developmental delays in speech and motor skills but her pediatrician felt confident she'd catch up as she grew and wasn't concerned. That didn't stop Tori from being anxious about it of course, but Sophie had made leaps and bounds in just the last few months. There had been a minor fire at the restaurant Tori worked at a few weeks back, but it was minor enough that they were only closed for a few days and the entire staff had been paid as if they had all worked full days for the entire time they were closed.

Life was hard sometimes, but there was plenty of joy in it, plenty of good.

And, God, despite everything, Tori loved her little girl with everything she had.

* * *

_**A/N:**_ **We'll**_** be seeing more of the gang shortly, I promise! **_

_**Heads up though, I'll be getting into some heavy stuff as the story goes. Tori's relationship with Sophie's dad was not a good one and another character has some stuff going on that Tori's going to hear about and this will all come into play eventually. Just thought I'd let you know! **_

_**Thanks so much for reading!**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Warning: Tori gets pretty worked up over something on her shopping trip. I've tagged appropriately. **_  
_**Like I said before, darker themes/topics will be woven into chapters from now on. Remember, they're post-college aged young adults. **_

_**Enjoy.**_

* * *

Tori found herself at Target after picking up Sophie from her parents' house. She had changed out of her work clothes, but the restaurant smell still lingered slightly, but Tori was sure only she could tell.

"What do you think, Soph? Dinosaur or unicorn?" Tori asked as she stood in front of the shelves of toddler clothes. Sophie was growing like a weed and needed some new clothes. She was in size 3t and sometimes even 4t depending on the style and cut of the clothes despite being a few months shy of three years old. Tori held out both shirt options.

"Din-saur!" Sophie chirped pleasantly from her place in the child seat of the shopping cart, happily holding onto the baby doll she had picked out from the toy section. Sophie rarely got anything that big as a "just because you're being good" treat, but it was on sale and she was overjoyed with it.

"I would've sworn you'd go for the unicorn, but okay." Tori said with a chuckle, placing the shirt into the cart. They had picked out several items of clothing together over the course of their shopping trip. Kittens, dogs, pandas, stars, and some cartoon characters were represented in Sophie's choices.

"All done?" Sophie asked.

"Almost. We need to go get you more soap and a new toothbrush and I need shampoo and then we're all done." Tori replied with a smile. "And then we can go home. Okay?"

Sophie nodded and swung her legs back and forth, the sparkles on her little sneakers glittering in the florescent lighting of the store.

Tori pushed the cart back into the main aisle and towards the personal care section, which is where soap, toothpaste, and shampoo were located.

The shampoo was an easy find, the same shampoo she always bought. She had accidentally only bought conditioner last time she was at the store, so she was all set on that.

"I hold?" Sophie asked Tori as she went to put it in the cart.

"Sure," Tori handed the bottle to her daughter. Sophie's new doll was sitting next to her in the seat and she held the bottle of shampoo carefully. Sophie was a very gentle child. "Thank you, big helper."

Tori pushed the cart to the end of the aisle and paused for a moment to try to remember which direction Sophie's soap would be. "Left," she murmured, but the turn of her cart was halted when she heard a laugh that sent a chill down her spine.

Tori froze. Her hands tightened around the handle of the cart and her breath caught in her throat.

Was that who she thought it was?

It could be. She was pretty sure he still lived in the area.

She hadn't heard that voice in more than three years.

She never wanted to hear it again.

The voice spoke and Tori's heart rate jumped up.

A man with light brown hair turned the corner of an aisle to the left and Tori caught a glimpse of the man talking on a cell phone before she turned the cart to the right and hurried into a different aisle. She ended up near the deodorant.

Tori braced herself against the cart, closed her eyes, and tried to slow her breathing.

She was being ridiculous. Nathan never talked on the phone. He hated talking on the phone. And why would he be in this specific Target at this specific moment? He was supposed be in a nine to five office job.

That man couldn't be Nathan. And she had let herself get spooked. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

"Mommy?"

Tori opened her eyes. Sophie was watching her curiously. Only then did Tori see Nathan's eyes looking back at her. Tori took a deep breath. "I'm okay, Soph. I just… I'm okay."

"Tori!"

Tori looked to the other end of the aisle to see Cat and Robbie coming towards her.

"Oh, hey." Tori replied, trying to smile. Now these were two people she was happy to see.

"You okay?" Robbie asked. "It looks like you just saw a ghost."

"Yeah, I'm okay." Tori said. No way she could tell them, especially not in public like this. They knew things had ended poorly with Sophie's dad, but they didn't know the whole story. And they didn't need to.

Neither Cat nor Robbie looked convinced, but attention was quickly drawn to Sophie, who was waving happily at them.

"Hi cutie," Cat greeted. "What do you have?"

Sophie held up the shampoo bottle. "I help,"

"Oh, I see."

"What are you up to?" Robbie questioned Tori, who was grateful for the subject change.

"Oh, you know. Shopping. This little one is growing like a weed, so we picked out some new clothes."

"That's exciting," Robbie replied politely.

Tori shrugged. "What about you guys?"

Robbie opened his mouth to speak, but Cat interjected. "Robbie needs deodorant."

"Cat," Robbie whined, his face flushing a bit.

"What? It's true."

Tori laughed. "Come on, Robbie. Everyone uses deodorant. It's not a big deal."

"No, I know but there's some things you don't want advertised, you know? This entire store doesn't need to know I'm buying deodorant."

Cat bumped against Robbie's shoulder. "But it makes you smell nice. I like when you smell nice."

Robbie sighed. "I guess I like when I smell nice too."

"See?" Tori grinned. "Okay, I… should go. We haven't been home all day and I still have more stuff to get. I'll see you guys soon?"

"Yeah," Robbie replied.

"Check your texts! Beck sent a message in the group chat." Cat said.

Tori had gotten the notification during work, but hadn't had the chance to look yet. "Yeah, I saw it but I didn't read it yet."

"Well, you should come." Cat replied.

"We'll see," Tori didn't even know what the message was about. "See you guys. Robbie, don't forget your deodorant."

"Yeah, yeah." Robbie chuckled. "Bye Tori. Bye Sophie."

"Bye bye!" Cat said.

Sophie giggled and waved as she and the cart were pushed back into the main aisle to find Sophie's soap.

"You know Sophie? Being a grown up is weird." Tori told the toddler. "Don't do it. Promise me you'll stay little."

Sophie only smiled.

* * *

_**A/N: I cut what was originally chapter 5 into 2 parts, so next chapter will pick up right where this left off!**_

_**Thank you so much to everyone who's commented and left kudos on this fic. It's a lot of fun to write and i hope you stick around!**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**This picks up immediately after the last chapter.**_

* * *

Tori's least favorite thing about living in an apartment was having to juggle bags and a toddler up the stairs post-shopping trip. Sophie could make her way up the stairs on her own now, though it was slow, but at least she didn't have to be carried. Tori could use both arms to carry stuff. Granted, they hadn't bought a lot, but it was still nice to be able to use both arms.

Sophie more or less crawled up the stairs, holding her new doll close with one arm. Tori was right behind her. Sophie took a bit longer to get up the steps than it would if she were just carried, but she'd never learn how to be independent if she weren't allowed to try.

At last, they reached the door of their apartment. Tori pushed the door open and Sophie toddled in and went directly to the middle of the living room, where she plopped onto the ground and tried to wrestle her shoes off.

Tori laughed a bit. "Do you need help, Soph?"

"No!"

Tori shook her head and placed the bags onto the counter and kicked off her own shoes. Sophie would tell her if she needed help.

One bag had the soap, shampoo, and toothbrush and the other had Sophie's new clothes. That made it easy. Tori put the things that belonged in the bathroom in their proper place in the bathroom, grabbed a pair of scissors and Sophie's new clothes from the kitchen counter, and headed to the couch to start the task of peeling stickers and cutting tags.

"Help," Sophie chirped, pushing herself to her feet and grabbing the baby doll from the ground. The doll was tied into a box at multiple points.

"Sure," Tori replied. "Oh, and you got your shoes off. Good job! Can you put them by the door while I open your baby?"

Sophie picked up her shoes and went to put them by the door.

Tori had cut the baby's arm free when she heard André's bedroom door open.

"Hey chica, little chica." André greeted. He ruffled Sophie's hair as he passed her. He looked awfully rushed.

"Hey," Tori greeted, freeing another plastic baby limb. "Where are you headed all snazzy?"

"I have a date." André replied with a smile.

Snip.

"Now? It's not even five!" Tori asked, incredulously.

"She's a busy woman," was the response. André slipped on his shoes.

"Oh yeah? Who is she?" Tori asked, passing a completely released baby doll to Sophie who had been waiting patiently beside her. Sophie hugged the doll close and sat down on the ground.

"Her name is Kylie. I met her on set."

"Ah. Is she pretty?"

"You know it." André chuckled. "I don't know when I'll be back so-"

"Don't freak out if I hear the door later tonight." Tori finished for him with a grin. "I know. Thanks _Dad_. Have fun!"

"Will do!" Andre opened the door. "Hey, check the group text. You're the only one that hasn't replied. Figured it's because of work."

Oh yeah. That. "I will, now shoo! There's a pretty girl waiting for you."

"See ya Tor. Bye Sophie!" André called as he closed the door.

Tori fished her phone out of her pocket and finally opened the group message she had been added to. Beck's message was quite long winded, but it basically said that he and Jade, being sort of important show business-wise at the moment, had been invited to a party that coming Friday night and had been told to bring their friends. Everyone else had responded that they could go.

Tori sighed. There's no way she was invited. Sure, Beck and Jade had been told to bring their friends, but the rest of their friends were successful. Their names were out there, they knew people. Tori was a waitress.

Just a waitress.

Surely Beck had only included her to be nice.

Tori's fingers hovered over the keyboard of her phone and she almost threw it across the room when it buzzed in her hands. A phone call. From Beck.

Now that was spooky.

"Hello?" she asked into her phone.

"Hey," Beck greeted, almost surprised. There was a pause for a second. "You haven't answered the phone for me in years."

It felt like a knife was twisted was twisted into her abdomen at that. She had all but ignored her friends since Sophie was born. Outside of André, she talked to Cat the most and she only managed to talk to Cat once every month or so. "Oh, sorry."

"No it's…" he cleared his throat. "Hey, not to be a pain in the neck, but I was calling about the party. I figured you were out of work by now and I wanted to actually talk to you about it."

_Don't actually come. _Tori's thoughts said in Beck's voice. She folded in on herself. _That message wasn't meant for you. Sorry. No one wants a waitress there._

"I wanted to make sure you knew that we really want you there."

"You… do?"

"Of course. You're our friend. And it's great having everyone back together and it wouldn't be the same without you."

"But I-"

"No butts. Those are for chairs, swings, and saddles."

Tori fought back a smile.

"It'll be fun! And, I admit I don't know exactly what your future plans are but there's gonna be some pretty important people there and if you want, between the five of us, I'm sure we can help you get your foot in the door with someone. Singing, acting, anything."

"I haven't done either of those things since I graduated."

"Yeah, well the talent didn't go away, I'm sure. You're still Tori Vega, aren't you?"

Tori let out a long breath. "Well…"

"Aren't you?" Beck repeated. "The girl who stepped in for her sister at the Showcase and knocked everyone's socks off? That's you, isn't it?"

"I guess," Tori relented.

"So you'll come?"

"If I can find a sitter for Sophie."

Sophie looked up at her mother at her name. Tori smiled at the little girl. Her parents watched Sophie so much, surely she couldn't ask them to watch her while she went out. She supposed there was always Trina, who adored her little niece. And the teenaged girl who lived upstairs who always went out of her way to say hello to Sophie and had watched her briefly before.

"Okay," Beck replied. "Let us know as soon as you know, okay?"

"I will,"

"We really want you to be there."

Tori felt a hot pricking behind her eyes. She was starting to believe it, but it still felt fake. "Okay, I'll let you know."

"Talk to you later,"

"Bye Beck,"

Tori put her phone down beside her and glanced out the window. She hadn't been out alone since the early spring semester of her Senior Year in college. Maybe she could change that this weekend.

* * *

_**A/N: I love Beck so much. I can't wait for him and Jade to get more involved in the plot (they will)! **_

_**Is there anything you lovely readers want to see? I can't promise I can put everything/anything into the basic outline I have lined up, but if it works and I can fit it in, I will! **_

_**Thanks for reading!**_


	7. Chapter 7

**_I was asked for some Jade and Cat friendship, so I managed to squeeze some into this chapter. I also have some soft Jade for you!_**

**_Boy howdy, is this a long chapter! I hope you enjoy!_**

* * *

Tori stood in front of her closet, staring at her dresses. There weren't a lot.

She hadn't been out somewhere nice since before she had Sophie, and most of the dresses she had from college didn't fit her right anymore after having a baby, so she donated everything that didn't fit about a year ago.

She had a black dress that was a weird length, some casual sundresses and really that was about it. She didn't have any skirts that would be good for a party, most of them were either too professional or too casual.

With a sigh, Tori pulled out the black dress and two sundresses she supposed she could make work the proper accessories and shoes and lay them on her bed.

"Dress!" Sophie cooed happily from the doorway over the sound of a cartoon on the living room television. Sophie was sitting between both rooms, so she could see her show and her mom and eating cheerios out of a purple plastic bowl.

"Yeah, dresses." Tori replied. "Mommy is going out tomorrow, can you believe that? I can't."

"Out," Sophie parroted. The teenaged girl who lived above them was going to watch Sophie so Tori could go with everyone to the party Beck and Jade invited them to. André was so excited that Tori was coming, he offered to pay the girl. Tori refused, but his enthusiasm was sweet.

"Well, I will if I can figure out what to wear."

"Dress," Sophie said, getting a chuckle from her mom.

"Yeah, I'm gonna wear a dress. But I don't know which one. What do people wear to parties, Soph?"

Sophie only shoved another cheerio into her mouth.

"I love you, sunshine, but you are no help when it comes to fashion." Tori said with a smile. She picked her phone up from her dresser and took a picture of the dresses on her bed. She sent the picture to both Cat and Jade and simply asked 'help?'. They went to considerably more parties than Tori could probably fathom and they would know what to wear, right?

For the second time in a week, Tori's phone rang in her hand. This time, it was Jade.

Tori swiped on the screen and held the phone to her ear. "Hello?"

"What the fuck was that?"

"Excuse me?" Tori asked in shock. This was the first time Jade had spoken to her like she was used to Jade speaking to her. And she was very glad she hadn't put it on speaker.

"That picture. What the fuck was it?"

"The… dresses I have? I don't know which one to wear tomorrow."

"Is that all you have?"

"No," Tori replied. "I got rid of a lot of dresses that didn't fit after I had Sophie. But I figured these were my best options."

"Well, you can't wear any of those. They're not good."

"Jeez. Sorry I don't have your sense of style, Miss Broadway Actress." Tori sat on her bed. "I don't have anything else."

"Well, I won't let you embarrass us in any of those."

Tori frowned. "Then I'm not coming,"

"Bullshit. You're coming."

"But you-!"

"What's your address?"

"Why?"

"We're going to the mall. To get you something better. I'll be there in half an hour."

Tori's eyes widened. "Jade, I don't have the money to waste on a dress I'll wear once." She wasn't broke by any means, she had a decent amount of savings, but there was a reason she lived in an apartment with her best friend and drove a used car.

"Don't worry about that."

"Jade!"

"You think I buy fancy crap? I know how to find stuff cheap. Don't argue, we're going."

"I have Sophie,"

"Then we're taking your car."

After a moment of consideration, Tori relented. "I'll go. But only if you watch your language,"

Jade sighed. "Fine. You and the kid better be ready to go by the time I get there."

"We will be."

"Good," Jade said. And then the end of the line went dead.

Tori ran her hand through her hair and sighed in exasperation. She shook her head and looked to her toddler on the floor. "I guess we're going shopping, Sophie."

* * *

"Oh, this is so fun!" Cat announced, clapping her hands as they walked towards the entrance of the mall.

Cat had been hanging out with Jade when Tori sent the picture, meaning Cat also was accompanying the mall trip, which was probably good. Tori couldn't imagine that going shopping with just Jade would have ended without a verbal smackdown in the back of Macy's. No guarantee having Cat along would make the experience fun, though.

Tori was pushing Sophie in her stroller, where the little girl was content holding her bunny, eating cheerios, and watching everything around her. For now, anyway.

"So, what's the plan?" Tori asked both Jade and Cat.

"We're getting you a dress so you don't make us look bad at the party." Jade replied, tossing Tori a look that asked if she was stupid.

Tori tightened her grip on the handle of the stroller to keep herself calm. "I _know_. I meant where are we going? I haven't bought a nice dress since college."

"We're going to all the stores that sell dresses and hopefully we'll find one that you like." Cat smiled at Tori. "Does this mall have a Forever 21? I can't remember. But we could start there."

"Yeah, it does." Tori replied. "But aren't I a little old for that store?"

"Shut up, you're twenty four." Jade grumbled. "But I don't think they'll have the kind of dress you'll need."

"They might," Cat argued. "And even if they don't, it's neutral ground. We can find out what colors and stuff Tori likes and look good."

Jade huffed. "I hate when you're right, Cat."

Cat smiled. "I know,"

"Is there one dress in this entire mall that isn't skin-tight?" Tori complained, stepping out of a dressing room in a light blue dress that came to her knees. This was the third store they had been to.

Cat and Jade were sitting in chairs and Sophie was asleep in her stroller beside them.

Tori looked in the large mirror that was on the wall and pulled at the fabric around her waist.

"I think it looks nice," Cat offered.

Tori shook her head. "It's too tight. They're all too tight."

"It fits you perfectly," Cat countered again.

"No it doesn't. Look," Tori turned, gesturing to her abdomen.

Cat and Jade only looked confused.

"I look weird. I look weird in everything that's this tight now." Tori tugged at the fabric again, feeling dejected. She hadn't realized how upset she was with the way her body changed after having Sophie until now, staring at herself in a mirror with her friend's eyes on her in the kind of outfit she hadn't worn since before she got pregnant. Nothing looked right on her. Tears pricked the back of her eyes and Tori turned back to the dressing room, determined not to cry. That would be a new level of pathetic.

"Tori-" Cat called quietly.

Tori did not stop or even turn around. She walked straight into the changing room and closed the door behind her and sat on the bench beside her discarded clothes, trying to control her breathing as she stared at the pattern in the carpet. This was a stupid idea. She should never have come. She should just forget the party. She didn't fit in.

A moment later, there was a knock at the door.

Tori didn't look up. "Cat, I'm fine."

"It's not Cat."

"Go away, Jade. I'm really not in the mood to be picked on."

"Let me in," Jade said, her tone softer.

Tori frowned, but stood up and opened the door, allowing Jade access into the tiny space. Jade shut the door behind her.

Tori crossed her arms and looked at Jade expectantly.

"Look in the mirror." Jade commanded.

"I don't want to."

"Do it."

Tori sighed and turned to face the mirror. Jade stood behind her, looking a little stormy.

"Tell me everything you see that you don't like."

"Absolutely not. If you're in here to make me feel worse, just leave." Tori replied.

Jade shook her head. "That's not why I'm here. Just do it."

Tori sighed and studied herself in the mirror. She had spent her entire middle school career getting comfortable with her body. She was never self-conscious about it in high school or college. She had learned to love it. But she didn't love it so much any more.

"I hate the way my stomach looks." Tori said quietly after a moment.

"Why?"

"It's… it… I had a baby, you know."

"I know."

"It's just. It used to be, I don't know, more flat I guess. I don't like it."

"Why does it look like that?"

Tori felt anger bubble up inside of her then and she turned to face Jade. "I had a baby!"

"Exactly!" Jade almost shouted back. "You had a baby, an actual human, in there for almost a year. If it looked the same as it used to, I would be concerned that you were a mutant or something."

Tori bit her lip.

"Look, you look fine in these dresses. I know you're having a hard time with it and I know you don't want to believe me, but they fit you fine. The only person who sees what you think is wrong with your body is you. You're…" Jade closed her eyes, as if she was in pain. "You're pretty, Tori. You always have been."

Tori turned to look back in the mirror and straightened out the material of the dress. Maybe it didn't look that bad after all.

"And even if your stomach looks weird, you should be okay with it. Because you did a pretty badass thing with that stomach. I know you love Sophie, but you need to love that too."

"You're right," Tori said quietly. "I don't like it, but you are."

It wasn't a fix, but it was a step in the right direction. Tori just had to learn to love her body again. It might not be easy, but she could try.

"Of course I am." Jade smirked.

"How did you-?"

Jade shrugged. "I've known Cat since we were twelve. She used to hate herself. I guess we all do in middle school, but she had a rough time."

Tori smiled a bit. "Sometimes you're really nice."

Jade groaned at that, but it was accompanied by a soft smile. "Now that I've been nice, I should tell you that this dress is not your color."

"Oh God, I know." Tori smiled. "Next store?"

Jade rolled her eyes, only half-serious, before she opened the door to leave. "Sure, Vega. Just hurry up."

* * *

"So, Beck and I got to see _Waitress_ on Broadway, right?" began Jade, picking up a French fry from her tray. "You guys seen it?"

"No," Cat replied.

"I've listened to the soundtrack a few times," admitted Tori, before taking a sip of her drink. Sophie was in a high chair, eating a piece of pizza Tori had cut up into very small pieces.

"Doesn't matter," Jade waved her hand. "So anyway…"

Tori smiled as Jade began her story about the wonders of New York City and being on Broadway.

Tori had found a dress she loved at the fourth store. It was a dark magenta fit and flare dress that landed just a over her knees. It was tight, but not skin tight, so it was a step forward. They had decided to go with silver shoes and jewelry, and luckily Tori already owned that. Tori had put the bag with her new dress in the basket under Sophie's stroller.

Tori had figured they would just get the dress and leave, but she was actually enjoying herself. They were eating lunch in the food court and they were going to other stores after they were finished just for fun. Cat had mentioned something about Build-a-Bra, and Jade said she wanted to go smell some lotion. Tori was just happy to be along for the ride.

She had missed spending time with her friends. She would like to blame the distance, but she knew it was her fault too, for all but ignoring them since she had Sophie. She liked just talking. She liked hearing about their lives. She liked that they included her. She liked that they were accepting of Sophie. She just liked it.

She didn't want things to go back to the way they were only a few weeks ago. She had a lot of time lost to make up for.

* * *

_**A/N: Next chapter we get the party! I will warn you, it's not gonna go they way you probably think, but it should be fun! Nothing bad will happen, I promise! Thanks for reading!**_


	8. Chapter 8

**_This was a super fun chapter to write! I hope you enjoy it._**

* * *

Tori nearly tripped as she stepped out of the car.

"Easy, Tori," André chuckled, steadying her with his hand.

Tori threw him a nervous smiled as she bent over to fiddle with the strap on her shoe.

"Everyone ready?" Robbie asked as he locked the car with his keys. He had offered to drive the four of them as he wasn't planning on drinking at all. More like he couldn't drink. He was actually allergic to alcohol, which was totally unfortunate and ironic.

Tori, André, and Cat nodded and Cat slipped her hand into Robbie's as they headed towards the big fancy house the party was being held in. Tori was grateful she didn't have to turn up alone.

"I'll text Beck and Jade to say we're here so we can at least be looking for each other at the same time." Tori announced, unlocking her phone.

"Sounds good," André replied.

Beck was waiting for them on the house's porch when they walked up.

"Hey guys," he greeted with a smile. He was dressed like he was used to attending big fancy Hollywood parties. "Glad you could make it."

"Hey," Robbie greeted.

"Where's Jade?" Cat asked.

"She's inside, talking with some theater people from the area. Apparently they've heard of her." He smiled proudly at that. "Come on inside,"

Tori stepped into the house behind Cat and was gobsmacked when she saw the place. It was crowded with people, but it was a modern home, massive and gorgeous. It was furnished and painted in black and white.

"Holy crap,' André murmured. "Who's house is this, Beck?"

"Giovanna Covington," Beck replied casually over his shoulder as he lead them into a quieter room.

"Like, the super cool, young, up and coming director?" Tori squeaked.

"The very same,"

"How'd you… what's this party even for?" Robbie questioned.

"Giovanna is going to announce the cast of her new movie,"

"It's finalized?" Cat asked.

Beck nodded.

"How'd you get invited?" André asked.

"The people in New York and LA talk," Beck replied.

"This is so cool!" Cat cheered.

"Do you know who the cast is?" Robbie asked

Beck shook his head. "No, only Giovanna and the casting directors and stuff know. Until tonight."

"Wow, and we get to be here." Tori breathed.

Beck patted her hair. "Sure do,"

She playfully swatted his hand away.

Jade strode into the room. "Hey," she greeted.

Cat smiled. "Hi Jade!" Tori waved at Jade.

Beck reached for Jade's hand. "How were the theater people?"

"Oh you know, theater people." Jade smiled a bit. "You all look super weird standing in front of all the alcohol and not drinking anything."

Jade was right, Tori noticed a ton of alcohol on the table behind them.

"You bring us in here just to get us drunk?" André asked teasingly.

"No, I just wanted to be able to hear you." Beck grinned. "But I mean, since you're here…"

A few hours later, Tori had found her way to the back porch of the house. She was sitting on the steps, holding a drink she had been sipping at for a very long time. She had a little girl back home she had to be capable of caring for when she got back. Plus, it had been a while since she drank much. Every few weeks, she and Trina would go to their parents' house and watch bad movies and drink wine with their mom, but that was about it.

"Hey," said a voice from behind her. "You trying to look pathetic out here all by yourself?"

Tori turned her head and saw Jade standing behind her, holding a glass of something bright red.

"I got a little overwhelmed in there," Tori admitted with a shrug. Between being introduced to a few handfuls of people in the entertainment industry, and trying not to loose her friends in the crowd, the night had taken quite a social toll on someone who stopped dealing with social situations three years prior.

"That's fair," Jade replied, lowering herself to the stairs as well, sitting one above where Tori was sitting. Chatter was still pouring out of the open doors and windows of the house."Couple people seemed pretty interested in you, I heard."

Tori shrugged. "I guess so," There had been a few people who seemed genuinely interested in her after Beck or André or someone else told them how talented she was. Someone from a tv network, a movie producer, and someone who had a vague recollection of her from when she was in high school. Tori motioned to Jade's drink. "What's that?"

"Hell if I know," Jade replied, looking into her glass.

Tori bit her tongue to prevent her from chastising her friend for drinking a suspicious beverage and only shook her head slightly. She tapped her phone to check the time. The numbers read 10:36 and they stood out starkly against her wallpaper, which was a picture of Sophie in a blue dress with white polka dots, smiling. A little white bow was clipped into Sophie's dark curls. It was one of Tori's favorite pictures of her daughter.

Jade cleared her throat. She had seen the wallpaper. "Sophie's a cute kid, Vega."

"Thanks," Tori said, shoving her phone back into her purse.

Jade swirled her glass lightly, the ice in it tinkling gently. "I... do you regret it?"

"Excuse me?" Tori questioned, eyebrows raised.

"Having Sophie," Jade clarified. "Do you ever regret it?"

Tori looked to Jade, surprised she asked such a question. Especially here, now. But there was no real reason not to answer. They were friends now after all. And they were out there all alone. "No! Okay… sometimes. But I think regret is kind of a harsh word."

Jade took a sip of her drink. "Explain,"

Tori sighed. "Sometimes I wonder what my life would've been like if I could've taken those offers I got after college, you know? If I never had Sophie, my life would be so different. I had... dreams and they were all kinda... taken from me the minute I found out I was pregnant."

"You didn't have to keep her." Jade said bluntly, as she always did.

"I know. It was... I thought about it. I thought about everything. Me and my mom and Trina talked for days... it wasn't an easy decision, believe me."

"Do you… do you think it was the right one?"

Tori looked to the ground. Jade was awfully curious tonight. After a beat of silence, Tori answered, "Yeah, I do."

"You love her." It wasn't a question.

"More than anything," Tori replied instantly, a soft smile spreading across her face. Her hand drifted to the silver necklace she was wearing. Her mom had gotten it for her when Sophie was born, it was a silver chain with a blue zircon stone, Sophie's birthstone, and a small charm with an 'S' on it. She wore it almost every day. "She's my little sunshine. I can't imagine life without her now."

"So you chose Sophie and the whole mom thing over your big break,"

"I did. It's not like I still don't want to sing and stuff because I do. It's just... that's not a stable job when you're inexperienced. I don't want to be a waitress forever, it kinda sucks actually, but it's pretty reliable as far as jobs go. And the owners like me. So I'll stay there as long as I need to. Unless someone here decide they really want or need me for something, I'll be working at the restaurant. I signed up to be Sophie's mom, I have to be able to provide for her, you know?"

Jade nodded and finished off her drink. "For what it's worth, Vega, I think you're kinda... brave."

"Brave? Why?"

"You chose to raise your asshole ex's kid. On your own. Right after college. Tori, that's, that's really... admirable."

Tori blinked in shock. "Oh, thanks."

"Babies... aren't easy."

"Nope." Tori agreed. "I'm sorry I stopped talking to everyone. It was just-"

"A lot. I figured." Jade cut her off.

"She loves you, by the way." Tori said after a moment.

"Sophie?" Jade asked, looking almost... hopeful?

Tori chuckled. "Oh yeah. All day yesterday after we got back home, it was 'Jade Jade Jade!'"

Jade had volunteered to carry Sophie when she got fussy after lunch and didn't want to sit in her stroller and also didn't want to walk. It had been a shock to Tori, but Jade said that it was only fair someone else hold the little nugget because Tori had to do it all the time. She had sort of bounced with Sophie to the music playing in the stores and talked to her and asked her what she thought of certain things while Cat and Tori fussed over some particularly girly stuff.

Jade smiled. "She's fun. As far as little brats go."

Tori smiled back. Jade really got along with Sophie and Sophie adored her. It was sweet.

Jade's phone beeped and she read a text message and pushed herself to her feet while typing a response. "Come on,"

"What?"

"Come on, we gotta go in. They're announcing the cast. You don't wanna miss it, do you?"

"Absolutely not," Tori stood up and followed Jade into the house. They pushed their way through the crowd until they found their friends. Jade slipped beside Beck and he slipped his arm around her waist. Tori slipped between Cat and André.

There was a large open space in the middle of the room, where Giovanna Covington was standing and beaming, behind her stood three people. Some photographers were there too. Giovanna raised her hand and everyone stopped talking almost immediately.

"Hello everyone, as you know, I'm Giovanna and I'm so glad you all could make it tonight to celebrate the announcement of the main cast of my new film, _Edge of the World_!" Giovanna announced. Everyone applauded.

"Of course, none of this could be possible without the incredible writers, Arthur Long and Taylor Wellington, and Samantha Vougle, the amazing executive producer." She gestured to the others behind her, eliciting another round of applause.

"Tonight, I'll be announcing the main four cast members. The supporting cast is also here tonight, and this movie would be impossible with out them, but there are unfortunately too many to name, but their names will be posted everywhere tomorrow and if you want to meet them, I can certainly make that happen. The film is set to begin filming in a few months and come out late spring of 2020! This is a very exciting time for all of us. But, without further ado, let's get to what you've all been waiting for, and start announcing our main cast!"

Another, louder, round of applause filled the room.

"First, we have Amelia Woodson, who will be playing Penelope Walker. Come on up, Amelia." A tall and beautiful woman with dark skin broke from the applauding crowd and stood next to Giovanna . "Amelia's been an extra in a few tv shows and has been acting since she was, what was it?"

"Five," Amelia replied.

"Five years old. We're glad to have you on, Amelia."

"Glad to be here," Amelia smiled.

"Next, we have Reagan Philips!" Giovanna announced. Tori gasped. Reagan Philips was a fairly popular actor. He was blonde and known for his work in comedies. He also joined Giovanna and Amelia. "Now, I'm sure you all know Reagan. He's been in some great movies in the last few years and we're thrilled to have him join us for this one."

"Thank you, Giovanna." Reagan nodded.

"And we have Adriana Steven, who is joining this movie straight off the success of this Spring's blockbuster hit, _Sunset Dreamer_." Adriana joined her cast mates besides Giovanna. "We're so happy to have her working with us."

"I'm excited to work with all of you," Adriana smiled.

"And last, but certainly not least, we have a brand new actor working on the movie with us. He auditioned for a supporting role, but he simply blew us all away with his incredible talent and we are so excited to help the world know who he is. Playing Logan Osment is Beck Oliver!"

Cat and Tori screeched at exactly the same moment.

"Holy crap!" André said out loud.

Robbie was speechless.

Jade, on the other hand, was beaming as Beck made his way to join the cast in the center of the room.

"Beck, we're so excited to see what you can do." Giovanna said with a genuine smile.

"I'm so excited to have this opportunity." Beck replied.

Soon, Giovanna's announcements were over and the crowd dispersed, except for Tori and her friends, who were waiting to congratulate Beck, but there were some pictures that needed to be taken first.

Finally, Beck was released from the formalities and he joined his friends in the corner of the room.

"Congratulations!" Robbie said.

"Thanks,"

Cat rushed forward and gave him a hug, which he returned enthusiastically. Tori joined the hug, followed by Robbie, and then André, making Beck laugh.

"I can't believe it!" Tori said once she let Beck go. "You're gonna be in a movie!"

"I sure am!" Beck chuckled.

"A lead actor in a Giovanna Covington movie!" André said excitedly. "Dude, that's awesome."

"You don't think some kid who went to college in New York would just get randomly invited to a Hollywood party, do you?" Beck grinned.

"So that's why you two came out here!" Tori said, putting the pieces together.

"Good job, genius." Jade said, only a touch of sarcasm to her tone, stepping closer to Beck. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

"So you knew about this?" Robbie asked Jade.

"For _weeks_," Jade grinned. "It was hell to keep it a secret for so long."

"But your reactions were totally worth the surprise." Beck assured. "I auditioned a few months ago and almost passed out when they called me."

"You auditioned in New York?"

"Yeah," Beck shrugged.

"Where's the movie filming?" Cat asked.

Beck looked at Jade and smiled. "Well actually, that's the other part of the surprise. We're filming in Nevada, so Jade and I are moving back to Los Angeles."

Cat squealed and jumped up on her toes, clapping her hands in excitement.

"For how long?" André asked.

"Forever, if things go well." Jade replied.

"Oh my God!" Cat said, bounding over to hug them both.

"That's awesome, guys." Robbie said.

"Congratulations," Tori said, beaming.

Sure, she had gotten some attention from some important people, but she never planned on this night being about her. She had never imagined that the entire reason they were here was for Beck all along. She couldn't be happier for him. And she was excited to learn that Jade and Beck would be coming back to LA. It seemed as though their group would get to be together for even longer.

* * *

**_A/N: Told you it wasn't going to go like you thought it would! ;) What do you think is gonna happen now? _**

**_(Also, if you like Beck and Jade, I started a fic about them called "The Greatest Show" and I hope you'll check it out! Thanks for reading!)_**


	9. Chapter 9

_**TW: pregnancy, pregnancy loss, abortion mention**_

* * *

The restaurant was nearly empty, which was unusual, but Tori was next up to be cut from work, and she was particularly looking forward to it as she had a four day weekend ahead of her and getting to go home early to start it off sounded fantastic.

She was killing time in the kitchen by talking to some coworkers when her phone vibrated in her pocket. She always kept her phone on vibrate just in case whoever had Sophie that that was calling to say something was wrong.

Tori excused herself from the conversation and made her way to a secluded and relatively quiet little alcove to answer the phone.

She was expecting her mom to say Sophie had a fever or something, which wouldn't be great news, but she was not expecting Jade's name to be on her screen.

Concerned, as Jade never called her, Tori slid up on the screen to answer it. "Hi Jade,"

"When do you get off of work?"

"What, no hello?" Tori teased.

"Vega, when do you get off work?"

Tori frowned. Jade sounded very serious

"Is everything okay?"

"No one's dying." Jade replied.

Her tone made Tori uneasy. "Um, I'm next to be sent home. We're slow today."

"Text me when you're off. I need to talk to you."

Tori picked at a loose thread on her apron. Something told her Sophie shouldn't be around when they talked. "Okay. You can come over if you want if it's easier. André won't be there, so it'll be just us."

"Good. See you later." Jade said before hanging up.

Tori sighed and texted her mom to let her know that while she would be getting out earlier than usual, she needed to talk to Jade about something before picking up Sophie.

Tori spent the next twenty minutes on her shift incredibly anxious. What on Earth would Jade need her for?

* * *

Tori had just enough time to take a quick shower and put on clothes that did not smell like grease before Jade buzzed the apartment to be let in.

When Jade reached the door to Tori's apartment, she looked as calm and collected as she ever did. Tori wasn't sure if that was worse or better than what she was expecting.

Tori waved her in and Jade sat on the couch.

"Do you want anything to drink? We've got water, Coke, milk, and apple juice." Tori offered, hovering uncomfortably.

"No," Jade replied. She looked around. "Where's the kid?"

"Sophie's still with my mom." Tori replied, lowering herself to sit beside Jade.

"Oh," Jade said softly.

"Jade," Tori began softly. "What's wrong?"

Jade scowled. "What do you mean?"

"You called and said you wanted to talk to me, which is honestly a little surprising. Figured you go to Cat if anything was bothering you. Is she busy or something?"

Jade sighed and shook her head. "No, I can't go to Cat for this. She won't understand. Not like you would."

Tori frowned at her. "What do you mean?"

"We are more alike than you think we are, Vega."

Tori resisted the urge to snort at that. The similarities stopped at the fact that they graduated from the same high school. Jade was a talented and successful Broadway actress in a long-standing relationship. Tori was a waitress and a single mom. Jade, however, looked too serious to be joking. Tori settled for, "I'm sorry, I guess I don't understand."

"At the party, when we were talking about Sophie, I realized that you did what I couldn't do. And now…" Jade trailed off with a dry, humorless laugh.

It had been two weeks since the party where they found out Beck was starting in a movie. Jade had been a little off since then. Even now, she was curled into herself on the couch, looking at the floor. This was not the confident Jade Tori knew. This Jade was scared.

Tori let Jade's words turn in her mind, unsure of what she meant. Have Sophie…. More alike… Did what Jade couldn't do…

Oh.

Tori swallowed and asked quietly. "Do you mean, have a baby?"

"Yeah," Jade said darkly. "You kept yours… I… didn't. Obviously."

A million questions burned on Tori's tongue, but she didn't say a word.

"I don't regret it. I really don't. But sometimes it like, hurts. And I don't know if it's supposed to." Jade brushed her hair from her face. She was looking at the ground in front of her, not at Tori, not at anything. Just away. Her hands curled into fists on her lap.

"Jade," Tori started gently. "You were pregnant?"

"Well, I…" Jade looked like she wanted to say more, but only said, "Yes,"

"When did that happen?" Tori asked, hardly above a whisper.

"Do you remember the summer after high school where I disappeared on you guys for a couple weeks because I was sick?"

Tori felt ice in her stomach. "Yeah, I do."

Jade glanced at Tori before returning her gaze to the carpeted floor. "That's when."

Tori looked down at her lap. Their friend group had tried their best to hang out as much as possible before they all went off to college, and in mid-June, Jade had stopped showing up to things, stopped answering texts, and gave the excuse that she was super sick. Beck had gone MIA too. It was assumed he was just looking after a very sick Jade and no one bothered them about it, as Jade was very grouchy when she was sick and Beck was the only person she even somewhat tolerated being around when she was congested and gross. Then Beck slowly started coming back around by himself, and then one day he showed up to Tori's house for a Mario Kart battle with a seemingly recovered Jade. When asked how she was feeling, Jade had replied only with 'fine', leaned against Beck on the couch, crushed Robbie in Mario Kart, and life had continued on as normal.

"I-I didn't know," Tori almost whispered after a moment. Jade had hidden it scarily well. No one had noticed anything had happened. Actress or not, Tori wondered how Jade managed to keep such a thing quiet.

Jade was still looking at the ground, but her voice was harsh as she spoke. "And now that you do know, you're gonna keep your big mouth shut. Only four people in the world know about this, including you."

Tori nodded, even though Jade wasn't looking at her. She wouldn't tell a soul.

Jade absently began tracing the pattern on her tights with her finger. "It could've ruined everything. College and… New York. All of it. I couldn't have gone to school and Beck got that huge scholarship and I couldn't screw that up for him. He would've backed out of everything if I asked him to, you know he would've." Jade's voice wavered just a bit, harshness long gone. "And I don't think I could've lived with myself if he gave all that up."

Tori stayed quiet. Beck absolutely would've bailed on college for Jade and a baby in a heartbeat. He would do anything for her.

"We talked about it a lot, but told me about a million times that it was my choice in the end. And he was really supportive. But… sometimes I wonder if he hates me for it."

"Beck could never hate you," Tori told Jade immediately. Beck loved her so much. You could tell by how he looked at her. He had always looked at her like she made the sun shine and the rain fall, even when they were broken up. Jade looked at him much the same way, even though she'd never admit it.

Jade shrugged.

"Have you ever talked to him about this?"

"Not in a while,"

"Maybe you should," Tori suggested.

Jade shook her head. "No. That's a terrible idea, digging that up isn't gonna be fun for either of us. Look at everything good that's happened for us. We graduated college. I've been lucky enough to be in a few shows and Beck's gotten some great opportunities. None of this would have happened if we went through with it and had a kid when we were 18."

"Jade, I-"

"No. I don't regret it." Jade said defensively, standing up. "I absolutely don't. Sometimes it sucks when I think about it too long, but I doubt we'd be anywhere near as happy as we are now. It wasn't an easy choice, but God, I'm glad I chose what I did. I don't care if you think I suck, or you think I'm a bad person, or if you hate me. I made my choice and I'm okay with it."

"I was going to say you're brave."

Jade looked over at Tori and Tori was startled by the look on Jade's face- anger, sadness, wistfulness, defiance all at once. This level of vulnerability was unusual for Tori to see.

Tori stood and placed a hand on Jade's shoulder. "You told me I was brave because I had Sophie. I think you're brave for your choices too. And for talking about it. I don't think you're a bad person. You made the decision that was right for you. That doesn't mean you suck or that I hate you."

"…thanks, Tori."

Tori offered Jade a small smile.

"I guess I… well, some part of me me always wonders 'what if?', you know?"

Tori blinked. "That's why you like spending time with Sophie."

"Yup. To even see if I could do it. If kids even like me."

"I… think you'd be a good mom. If you ever wanted to be one."

Jade's eyes grew distant again and she turned away from Tori.

"Jade?"

"I… miscarried last year."

Tori felt all the air leave her lungs. "Oh my God,"

"We didn't know until I was in the hospital. I thought I was dying. I found out that I was pregnant, past tense, while we were there. It was… not a good day."

"I'm so sorry, Jade."

Jade wandered to the window. "It felt unusually cruel, you know? To not know about it until it was gone. I'm pretty sure it was punishment for the first one."

"Oh, geez Jade, no. It wasn't that." Tori rushed. That wasn't how things worked. The world wasn't that unfair.

Jade ignored her. "It was an accident, but we could have figured it out that time. We were actual adults, you know? I swear I heard Beck's heart break when the doctor told us what was happening. He loves kids so much. And I can't…"

Tori slowly walked over to Jade and was surprised to see tears in her eyes, "It's not your fault,"

"The first one was!" Jade snapped, startling Tori enough that she stepped back. "If that was the only one that could have made it and I…" Jade angrily wiped at her face. "I can't let it happen again. It wouldn't be fair to either of us."

"Did I miss something?" Tori asked gently.

Jade sniffled and crossed the room to her purse and pulled out a box.

Tori's breath caught in her throat. She knew what that was way too well. A pregnancy test.

The last time Tori had been holding a pregnancy test, her whole world had changed. She remembered that day very clearly. She remembered her legs going weak and she remembered tripping on her way out of the bathroom because she couldn't see through her tears. She remembered throwing the stupid little stick into her trash can. She remembered pushing her musicianship homework off of her desk and collapsing onto her dorm bed.

Jade said nothing for a moment before she took a deep breath. "I was… afraid to do it by myself."

Tori swallowed hard. "You think you're-"

"I don't buy pregnancy tests for fun, Vega." Jade interrupted. She combed her fingers through her hair. "God, you think we would've learned by now to be more careful."

Tori could only shrug in agreement. Thankfully, Jade didn't seem offended.

"Does Beck know?"

Jade shook her head. "No. I wanted to be sure before I said anything. If it's negative, nothing happened and Beck will never find out about this, okay?"

"These things aren't 100 percent accurate." Tori reminded.

"I know, but it's more accurate than me taking a guess."

"That's fair," Tori looked back to the box in Jade's hands. It was only then she noticed that Jade's hands were shaking. She held her hand out and Jade passed Tori the box, which Tori started to open.

"I don't want to screw this up for Beck." Jade admitted. "His movie."

"How would you screw it up?" Tori asked, struggling with the cardboard.

Jade shrugged.

Tori finally opened the box. "I know you love Beck. But Jade, what do you want? All you've talked about this whole time is Beck's feelings and messing things up for him. What about you? Do you want a baby?"

Jade had a career too. Jade had feelings. Tori hadn't heard her mention herself once.

"I… I don't know what I want." Jade whispered.

Not the kind of answer she was hoping for, but it was something. Tori handed the test to Jade and pointed her towards the bathroom. Jade started to walk there, but Tori stopped her.

"Whatever that says, everything's going to be okay. Beck will still love you. And I'm here. I'll always be here." Tori wasn't going anywhere. Tori wasn't about to shut her friends out again.

Jade nodded and closed the bathroom door behind her.

* * *

Tori and Jade sat side by side on the floor in the hallway outside the bathroom, watching the timer tick down in front of them on Tori's phone. They weren't saying anything, but Tori had taken Jade's hand and Jade didn't pull away. Tori knew how anxiety inducing these five minutes were. She had done it alone. Jade didn't need that.

The timer reached zero and the alarm chimed. Tori shut it off, but Jade didn't move.

"I'll come with you," Tori offered.

Jade stood up then and because she was still holding Tori's hand, pulled the brunette up with her. They walked into the bathroom together. Signs that a toddler lived there were subtle, but everywhere. A little Peppa Pig toothbrush, rubber ducks and other bath toys in a bin near the tub, a step stool by the sink. Tori was suddenly hyper-aware of the signs of a tiny human, she wondered if Jade was too.

Jade let go of Tori's hand and walked the rest of the way to the sink by herself. This test was the one that said in words pregnant or not, which eliminated some guesswork. Before Tori had the chance to ask Jade what it said, Jade whipped around and wrapped her arms around Tori, shaking. Tori was taken aback, but returned the hug. She could see the test from where it sat on the sink. And she could just make out the words on the little digital screen.

_Pregnant._

Tori held her friend tighter and waited for Jade to speak first.

* * *

**_A/N: Thanks for reading! what do you think will happen next? Happy New Year!_**


	10. Chapter 10

_**Wow, it's chapter 10! I'm so glad so many of you are enjoying this story. Now that we're this far in, we're officially passed the 'set up' part of the story, so the plot will keep chugging forward. **_  
_**This story really is Tori-focused, but if you want more Jade than you're getting here, I have a Bade oneshot collection that's a lot of fun to write. **_  
_**Enjoy this chapter!**_

* * *

Tori was scribbling furiously in her old journal/songwriting book on the couch when André came home. She was venting and writing at the same time. There was a lot going on in her brain at the moment and she couldn't tell anyone, so she was trying to write it all down.

"Hey Tor," he greeted cheerfully as he kicked off his shoes.

"Hey," Tori replied, not looking up. Sophie had been a sleep for nearly two hours and Tori had spent almost as long writing while black and white movies played on the television.

"Got your song book out, I see." André observed with a smile as he walked to the kitchen. "Whatcha working on?"

Tori shrugged. "There's… a lot I needed to get down."

"I see, I see." André pulled a bowl and a box of cereal from their respective cupboards. "I haven't seen you write anything in a long time, girl. Proud of you."

Tori hummed absently. It _had_ been forever. The last time she had written anything of substance was when she was still pregnant with Sophie. The last thing she had written anything of substance that she did anything with was when she was in college.

André plopped down beside her on the couch, a bowl of Crunch Berries in his hands. He glanced at her writing, but not long enough to read anything. "Wow, you're just going, aren't you?"

"I guess," Tori replied. She looked to him. "Cereal? It's ten at night."

"I love me some Cap'n Crunch, alright?"

Tori smiled at him. He had broken her concentration, but perhaps it was for the best. She had just started to notice the cramping in her hand. She finished the sentence she was working on, slipped the page marker in and shut the book, laying it and her pen on the coffee table before shaking out her hand.

"Oh hey," André began, around a mouthful of cereal. "Is Jade okay?"

Tori's heart stopped. There's no way he could know what happened today. No way he even know she was there. "I… I don't know. Why?"

André shrugged. "Beck and I were texting and he mentioned Jade has been off all day and he doesn't know why, Figured since y'all are both ladies, she might've gone to you if something was wrong." He shoved another spoonful into his mouth.

"No… she would go to Cat, not me. I have no idea what Jade does. I haven't talked to her today."

"Hm, alright. You know Jade, it's probably nothing. Hope she's good, though."

"Yeah," Tori replied nervously. "Me too."

"What's this movie?" André asked, gesturing to the tv.

Tori relaxed a bit as she told him. Either she had gotten to be a better liar or André was just humoring her.

Jade was absolutely _not _okay. Tori knew that better than anyone. Jade had cried in her arms just hours ago, she was scared to death. 'Good' and 'okay' were not words Tori would use to describe the situation at hand.

Tori had learned a lot about Jade over the course of the actress' distress-induced visit. She learned that Jade believed that she would not be a good parent because her own parents were garbage. She learned that Jade was afraid of somehow ruining Beck's career as well as her own. She learned that Jade was worried that Beck would leave her once and for all because despite everything they had gone through, they still had never had an actual conversation about children. She was worried that she would somehow loose this baby too. Tori had also learned that Jade had her suspicions about being pregnant since before the party and that she had been drinking fruit punch and Sprite at the party and nothing else, just in case.

Tori had been able to talk her down from hysterics to a manageable level of upset over the course of about half an hour, and had gotten her tissues and water and the number to the OBGYN she went to she she was pregnant with Sophie, as well as the number to her therapist's office. Jade had a lot she needed to talk about, whether she kept this baby or not. Jade had a lot of big feelings that she had been sitting on for years, lots of things she needed to work on, and as much as Tori wanted to help her, she was not a psychologist, but she went to one herself. She started going when her relationship with Sophie's father ended in flames and she found out she was pregnant and still went from time to time, just to keep her head on straight because looking after a toddler by herself was hard emotionally sometimes.

Before Jade left Tori's, she still said she didn't know if she wanted to have a baby or not, but Tori didn't really believe her, though she wasn't sure which way Jade was leaning. Tori suggested that Jade talk to Beck first, to talk things through together. Jade hadn't liked that idea at first, but relented, only after saying she would wait a day or two so she could process things herself first before ever speaking to Beck about it. Tori made her promise. They needed to talk about things- a lot of things- and as unfortunate as it was, this would probably be the best time.

Tori was glad she had an appointment with her therapist soon. There was a lot she needed to vent about now. Writing about it could only do so much.

The mental exhaustion of the day caught up to Tori all at once and she yawned.

"Good Lord, girl. The people across the hall can see your tonsils." André joked.

"Sorry," Tori said, covering her mouth with her hand too late. "It's… been a rough day."

"Don't apologize. You went to work and then chased a tiny person around. That's enough to knock anyone on their ass. Go to sleep."

_You don't even know the half of it, _thought Tori as she stood up and stretched. She grabbed her book from the table and slid the remote in front of André. She was already in her pajamas, so that was one less step. "Good night,"

"Good night," he replied. "Give that little nugget a kiss from me when you get in there, alright?"

"Will do," Tori responded with a smile. André loved Sophie a lot. She quietly made her way to the room she shared with her daughter. Sophie was fast asleep, holding her bunny close. Tori smiled at the sight. She had never loved anything more than she loved the tiny girl in front of her, but she knew being a parent wasn't for everyone. Whatever Jade and Beck chose, Tori hoped it made them truly happy.

Tori kissed her hand and then gently rested it on Sophie's head. Tori couldn't get close enough to actually kiss her with the crib bars in the way.

"Good night, my little sunshine. I love you so much."

* * *

**_A/N: Thanks for reading! let me know what you think!_**


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